The spirit of thankfulness

We are finally getting settled in. The kids have been enjoying their weekly Classical Conversations, we've found a few homeschool groups to plug into and we've made some real connections and friendships.  We found out that one of our homeschool family buddies lives only a block away from us, so we've been able to visit with them quite often!
Well...I'm glad we've gotten through October.  It was a month of decisions and I got off the rail a time or two.  Just a few weeks ago we were still struggling with the newbie syndrome, not knowing anybody in our new city and feeling completely unplugged.  The kids were complaining about being bored and I was seriously considering taking them to school.  That is until I visited a few schools during the season of "La Dia De Los Muertos" and realized the heavy influence Halloween would play on a given school day in October, given the Mexican cultural influence in our town. Maybe we're a little peculiar, but in our family we don't like to observe the occasion at all, and in fact, my kids find it offensive.  Even a simple trip to Walmart when all the Halloween decorations are out in the open bothers my 9 year old-- she'll run to the other side of the cart just to avoid having to pass the decoration.  Sounds extreme, but you never realize how spiritually sensitive younger (and even some older) children are until you expose them when they haven't been exposed.  I prayed for peace about continuing to homeschool, and what can I say.  I have all the peace and the strength I need to keep going in that direction for now...and the kids are back to a new norm.

Needless to say, November brought a breath of fresh air to our entire family...only four days in and I sense a beautiful seasonal change happening both in the natural weather and in the "spirit".  It's a great time of the year to focus on being thankful.
I looked at my daughter's Christmas list the other day and realized how extravagantly LONG it was (and how expensive most of the items were).  And my ears have been more attuned to the sound of complaining from the kids about what they don't have...and it makes my skin crawl.  It's to the point that I will not let it slide again.  So we're doing something about it.
After a talk about thankfulness I realized that my kids probably have never truly been exposed to those in need (besides our distant relationship with a Compassion International child Ny supports).
 It also came as a shock to my own system to walk out of the bagel store a few days ago with bagels for me and my kids...and walk right past a homeless guy in downtown Monterey who was digging through the garbage can to find a MYO yogurt someone had just finished off and tossed in.  He took it out and finished off the rest.  I kept walking to my car. I looked back.  I kept walking.  Then I looked in my own hands, realizing fully that I had just purchased three toasted bagels topped with yummy cream cheese.  Yeah, I was hungry and my stomach growled. I had to get my daughter to a doc appointment and needed a bite before we settled in a for a long wait and the bagel was my plan .  It was MINE.  And God said, "No.  You give to those in need and I will provide for yours."  So we did.  We backtracked our steps, gave him the bagel...and I will never forget the look in his eyes.  He said "thank you". Simple transaction, but powerful, because as I walked back to my car I kept thinking how good it felt to do the right thing.  And I also couldn't help but to wonder how in the world any society could solve a problem as complicated as homelessness.
From that moment forward, I have been thinking of ways our family can help our cities on the Peninsula...just contributing however we can.
We have a homeless shelter/soup kitchen nearby and I'm hoping to carve out a plan for our family to get plugged in with that soon.
Meanwhile, we have Thanksgiving coming up soon-- and I can't help but to wonder what this year will be like- not being with my parents and brother back home in Alabama - celebrating the holidays for the first time ever without them.  It will be different for sure, but trusting God that it won't be a lonely one.  He's sent us some great friends in the past 6 months who have really reached out to us in so many ways.

So I'm grateful for so much this season- new friends and old friends, family nearby and family far away, and the fact that God has blessed us with so much to be thankful for- like a new home and neighborhood, new educational opportunities for the kids (Classical Conversations), and mainly just the stability of family life together and the love we share with one another.
We've had some tough times these past 8 months or so, just trying to figure out our new identity in two new cities (and in a different region of the U.S. at that!)...but it's finally beginning to feel a bit like home.  Not the old home, but a new one.  The dust is settling, the hardest part of the transition is over, and we can finally breathe.  The kids are starting to feel more at home, and things are getting better.  And I am thankful.

Breaking through the fog

I simply can NOT believe my daughter is going to the 4th grade.  Just can't believe it.  When did she get so tall?  When did she stop being a preschooler?  1st grader?  3rd grader?

While the latter part of my blog posts here have been about transition, I've not mentioned how more shocked I am at how fast my kiddos are growing than about the physical changes around us (i.e.- the move).  And now that we are finally settling into the west coast and starting to really get into life here, my focus has shifted from attempting to help my children adjust to the move as much as possible, to the reality shock that they have just grown up megalots in the past 3 months.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this in my last post or not, but a few weeks ago Ny started to really get into cooking with me.  Every time I'm in the kitchen she wants to help.  I just didn't realize she'd start taking over so soon!  She cooked up a whole batch of pancakes on her own and made my coffee.  Wow.  Can she really be nine already?

I'm also finding that the less cluttered I feel about everyday life and the more streamlined I am on the homefront, the more I have time to notice the smallest changes in my kids.  Changes like the fact that Z is 3 and a half, but going through a "baby stage" (requesting baby food, wanting to watch "Potty Power" even though she's been potty trained for nearly two years now, suddenly not wanting to sleep on her own).  And I've been noticing more how patient Ny is with her little sister, but how she so desperately needs space of her own (maybe her own room?  We shall see).  These little things I'm noticing are so small they barely seem to make a difference...but oh, they really do!
I dunno...how do I explain this?

Out here on the Central Coast, we have this little climate issue that translates to lots of FOG for us.  The fog usually comes in early in the morning and burns off close to noon.  But in the Pacific Grove area, sometimes the fog rarely seems to lift and most of our summer days are not only on the side of chilly but overcast and foggy.
So, I say all that to say this: it's as if I've spent the last 8 years or so in a fog. Not the kind of fog where you literally don't know where you're going, but a different kind.  The kind of fog where you have plans and ambitions and goals and desires, and you are trying so hard to get there.  I mean, after all, it's for you and your family's benefit so it must be okay right?  Only it's not so okay when the ambitions fog up your path and you can't see where you're going anymore for the lack of clarity.
I feel as though these last four months in California have been a time of clarity for me.  The fog has been lifting and I've been able to see past my own desires and finally for once, really see the people around me.  Like my own family. Like my kids and their significant growth. Like my husband and his needs.    Like people down the street.  Like people at the grocery stores.  People at church.  People on the bus.  People everywhere.  I see people every day who are angry and bitter or lonely...sad...or even simply lost.  Lost in a world where it seems nobody cares.  The weird thing is that it's like an experience where I feel that I get a 2 second glimpse into their lives and I am drawn into their emotional world.  I feel it, but then only for a second or two. I'm sure God has a plan and He wants me to pray.  So I say a silent prayer for them.  But maybe there is more?
I don't know...but I am sensing a wind of change for God's people all over the world.  Something significant is about to happen in the lives of Believers...and God is going to use us to bring hope and joy and peace...and the Answer.  But we just have to be willing to allow the fog of everyday life to clear up a bit so that we have the clarity and peace we need to minister to others.
I want that so badly!  Every true-at-heart mama in the universe knows the pressures of every day life, because now we don't live for ourselves anymore.  I was talking to my own mother the other night, about how having children has made me less selfish.  We give and give and give to our kids until we have nothing left...and we would do it all over again in a heartbeat. There is just something very special about a mother's heart. She'll do anything (even neglect her own needs/deprive herself) to ensure her own children have what they need.

Sometimes in the midst of giving and doing, planning our weeks, shuttling the kids to activities, grocery shopping and meal planning, cleaning house, cooking meals, caring FOR the kids, (and then if you homeschool...well...there goes more energy, time and effort), we can find ourselves utterly lost in that same "fog" I mentioned earlier.  I mean, it's amazing to me how that even doing the right things sometimes can result in overload and burnout.  But is that ever God's intention- for us to be burnt out while doing good?  So this scripture I was reading answered that one for me:

  Galatians 6:9 NKJV "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart"

So, the thing is not to become weary (or caught up) in our daily activities to the point where we get spun out of shape, confused, or in just a great big fog of life.  The "fog" robs us of being able to clearly see the people around us and their needs because we're so super busy.  I think even we mamas can use that reminder from time to time...and to remember to stay encouraged.  If you're in the "foggy" season where you feel that, well to be quite blunt, there is no end to the mound of diapers surrounding you- well, in a nutshell, don't give up!  This too will pass. It's just a season, a phase of life, and the Lord has promised to strengthen you through it.  But keep on doing good for your family.  And if you feel that you don't have the clarity you need to see the roses from the trees, ask the Lord to lift the fog away from you so that you can better connect with your loved ones (and not only serve them).  There is a difference.  Once the fog is lifted, it's as if after all the years of doing so much for a child (changing their diapers, kissing their scraped knees, dressing them, feeding them, teaching them, shuttling them about town) suddenly comes to a momentary halt as you look at this child you created and realize they are a person waiting to connect with you on a level beyond rudimentary needs.  Here is this complex being- a social, emotional, psychological, spiritual being staring back at you with deep, meaningful eyes, waiting on you to connect with her soul and lead her spiritually.
That goes way deeper than figuring out which summer camps in which to place your kids. When the fog lifts, suddenly so much of what we've been doing with our children seems so extravagantly superficial.
Fun, yes!  But not of ultimate importance.
By all means, have FUN with your kids! Go places with them, do stuff together.  I would never trade in a million years the Disney trip we took a few weeks ago.  We created beautiful memories together. But my point is...once all the planning is over and you're back at home looking at each other again, now's the time to connect soul to soul. And I do think that in our busy world it's so easy to neglect the smallest things.

I hope I remember to always take time to breathe, relax, and connect with my family.   And keep that fog away.

Passover 2011

This week I've really been thinking about my Savior and how grateful I am of His love for us.  In honor of Him, I wanted to acknowledge Passover (remembering when he caused the curse of death to  "passed over" His people, the Israelites, and brought them out of Egypt from underneath the bondage of Pharaoh).  So the kids and I enjoyed preparing our 2nd ever family Passover seder a few days ago.

We used the above book from our local library.  In the back were some easy recipes for our passover meal.

Ny helps to stir the meal for the matzah ball soup.

Our main Passover dish consisted of lamb, parsley for dipping in the salt water, an egg, and charoset.  We didn't have the bitter herb, so we reused the parsley  dipped in a bitter sauce instead.  Our side dishes (or just-in-case meals) were dinner rolls and wild grain rice.  Because we are not orthodox, nor are we Jewish, we didn't keep "kosher"- in case you were wondering about the dinner rolls!

Last year we created our own matzah.  This year it's store bought and surprisingly tastier.

Our humbly simple Passover meal completely set with a Haggadah printout (to help us follow along with what to say).

This year our meal is at a smaller table in a smaller home...and yet there was something so beautifully rich and grand about the entire process- from cooking and singing songs about the exodus with my kids to finally setting the table and sitting down to pray and  eat as a family.  My husband told the story of the Israelites' suffering and deliverance out of Egypt- with passion, I might add!  The kids loved it.  When it was Z's turn, she asked "the questions", and although Ny is not the youngest she had a turn at the questions as well.

Z finds the "afikomen"- the matzah wrapped in cloth which is hidden for the kids to find.  When they find it, they get a prize.

The main thing I wanted our family to get out of this special time together was to have the story of God's rescuing power be at the forefront of my children's minds as we are lead into the Resurrection weekend.  I want them to understand how important we are to our Lord- enough for Him to bring us out of Egypt.  He did this by delivering us through the power of the Cross-ultimately.  Today, we can be rescued out of our "Egypt" because of His submission to God's will by laying down His life on the cross.  For us.  It's too much for me to understand, but I receive it.  I can hardly fathom it, but I believe it.  And I want my kids to know as much as they can possibly understand at their tender ages of 3 and 8, that God loves them dearly.  Enough to "pass over" their sins and offer them true, everlasting life.
Again, as I mentioned earlier, I enjoy occasional fellowship with my Messianic brothers and sisters, but we are gentiles, not claiming a jewish identity.  So, we don't get all the "rules" just right.  But we celebrate Passover in the spirit of honoring God. 
I look forward to Sunday, the day we will remember Jesus and how He was resurrected from the grave.  It's a day of rejoicing-- it makes me very happy.  Reason?  Because I know that in Him I can have life too.  It's as though my life is wrapped in His, covered in His.  Whatever mistakes I've made are covered with His cloak of forgiveness.  Whatever needs I have- He's got me covered.  Where I falter, He lifts me up.  When I am confused, He takes away the cloud of confusion and brings clarity.  When I feel sad, His presence brings me joy.  When I want to throw in the towel and call it quits, the Lord gives me a renewed energy that I can't even explain.  It comes from Him.
Happy Passover, and Happy Resurrection Day.

My identity shift

I am in a new season of my life now.
You know, over the past few years (before I became an official homeschooling, stay at home mom, work at home entrepreneur- what have you), I have done an awful lot of searching for my identity.
Most women in their 20's and early 30's go through this phase.  Sometimes I think my identity search was a little extreme, while at the same time I recognize that I'm not alone. 
Whereas I started off my college career in search of a business degree in Management Information Systems, I finished with my bachelors in Child Development.   I've always loved kids and it was a perfect fit for me, the degree...but in my world of understanding I didn't get far with that.  After college I bounced back and forth between jobs working in day cares and restaurants, and finally a job as a library assistant which I held down for four years while throwing myself into full time pursuit of what I really wanted to do with my life.  I still didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Again, I had a soft spot for kids but just didn't see a career in the day care centers as a reasonable option.  The pay was minimum wage and working my way up to assistant director for only $2 more per hour just wasn't going to cut it for me.
Deep down I had this love for tinkering with gadgets and technology and though blogging wasn't really a known thing yet, I had this habit of keeping a diary daily since I was about 11 years old.  Writing as therapy was my thing, and I wouldn't have minded keeping some type of online diary of my (safe) thoughts and feelings to share with an online community.  Again, blogging wasn't in yet.  But I liked the idea of creating a website with the purpose of sharing and creating community.  Then...I got married to my wonderful guy who happened to be a web designer.  I caught the web design bug and started along that journey, quit my job to go to grad school and become a stay at home mommy to my first daughter, and the rest of the story is evolved from there.
I've been creating community sites for years- mainly mommy sites, community sites for Christian women, and technology-based projects...and again, the same pattern of finding and shifting identities has followed me throughout all of this. 
I started three businesses- web design and online marketing, natural homemade soaps and skin care, and home education info sites. 
I tell you all of this not to talk about me, me, me...but to give you a clear picture of what I mean by seeking identity.  Some people experience mid-life crisis...but many of us experience an early onset life crisis!  At any point, I know what it feels like to be a stay at home mom who aspires to entrepreneurial ideas, projects, and plans...but then life happens.  It's a struggle and a true conflict...because on the one hand I totally LOVE being at home with my kids and I think it's a God-thing that I can do this.  Not everyone can or wants to, and that's okay, but this is my calling - for now.  And I love it without a doubt.  On the other hand, I totally love being in the mix with clients or customers, helping others, building community, solving problems, contributing to my community and to my family monetarily-- and that can be a hard thing to come by when I devoted my time and energy to what I've chosen to do. 
But I have chosen to do this.  To be at home with my kids, to home educate them, to teach them about life and be with them throughout the day on a one-to-one basis. 
And you know what?  I don't regret it for one moment.
I even have to stop to smile for a moment.
Yes, I've made some sacrifices...who hasn't?  Any stay at home mama (or dad), any homeschooling parent, will tell you that there are some sacrifices to be made when you choose this path of life.  Some folks I know have chosen to downgrade, sell their big homes and move into smaller ones, live on less, eat out less, buy less, and enjoy life more.  (Interesting paradox).
I don't know what God is doing in my life right now, and I'm not sure where He's leading me, where He's taking me to.
I just have to trust Him.
Only recently I restarted my web consulting business, helping women entrepreneurs to turn their business ideas into online profits, and I was and still am quite passionate about that topic.  But I feel that I have a hook around my waist with a yellow caution light flashing for just a moment...and until I feel the release of God's green light, "my" business is, once again, on hold.
Business-wise, that doesn't make any sense.  Especially when you have money tied into something, deals have been made, plans have been settled on...

But, I'm telling you, this cross-country move has shaken up more than a few moving boxes in my life.  It's rearranged completely my thought-life, and I think has probably changed my destiny.  The direction I was heading in before I came to California has shifted.  Coming out here has enlightened my path in a different way.  The moment I laid my eyes on those awesome mountain ranges shortly after we entered the border, my breath was taken away and I was caught up in a God-moment.  For a second it was as if I could see Moses walking down Mount Horeb after speaking to God.  Of course it helped to be caught up in the surrounding voices of Israel Houghton and New Breed, too!
But I'll never be the same.  Never, ever, ever.
I don't know where God is leading me, but I am open. 
Yes, I am unsure of a lot right now.  Like any other family in the U.S., we've felt the struggle of the economy and the pressure to cut corners anywhere we can.  My plans were to contribute in a way that combined my passions and skills with a nice, assumed income through a small business. Being the entrepreneurial type, I just thought it would go smooth sailing, I would move out here, I would homeschool, unpack my things, and pick up where I left on the business.
Uh...not quite.
Suddenly the quake hit Japan, and I was in a different zone- just in shock from the grief that so many endured only the distance of the Pacific Ocean away from my home.  The after shock sent tidal waves in a stir near our coastlines.  My father-in-law passed and my husband traveled to France and back within one week.  
I tried to unpack, but with too much to think about, it was a mess.  I let it go for another week.  The kids missed their friends, the house was a wreck, and I had to keep life moving for everyone- no time to be an entrepreneur, no time to mope around the house.  Face forward I had to keep moving.  Get the kids out of the house, get out in nature to the beach, take walks, go to the library, go to church, go to play groups.  Pray.  It was all I could to stay afloat.  What was business at this point?

In my heart, I am still an entrepreneur- will be forever I think.  But what to do next?  I dunno.  How about enjoy my kids for now and get used to my new neighbors and find my way around the community?  How about unpack that very last box sitting in the corner of my living room?  How about getting back into some normalcy of a homeschooling routine, which is for now kind of left hanging up in the balance?  I think I have enough to think about for now.

I also feel that I am growing past that mode of self-discovery from my 20's.  Now almost in my mid 30's, I am beginning to understand more than ever who I am and that life is full of seasons.  These seasonal changes can shift any which way, from one moment to the next.  This year's experiences doesn't necessarily dictate next year's.  I also understand that my identity is not founded upon which "career choices" I make.  I am who I am, the way God made me, and that's it.  A job is a job, a career is a career.  But a calling.  Now...that's something entirely different.  And I think I've waken up to the fact that although I've dabbled into quite a few "careers" so to speak (child care worker, cashier/waitress, library assistant, web designer, soapmaker, online marketing consultant, freelance writer)...none of these labels can place an exclusive Label (with a capital "L") on me.  I am God's alone.  Yeah, sure, if I wanted to study photography I could probably become a pretty decent photographer within a year or two, if not sooner.  I totally believe in myself that way...and it's not bragging, I just know that I could if I tried.  BUT, here's the thing.  Unless it's a true calling, it's just another job or career.  And another career doesn't answer the one underlying question that every stay at home mama wants to know: WHO AM I?
That question can only be answered by discovering God's CALLING.  How did He create me?  For what purpose?  What am I supposed to be doing on this earth?
Those are the questions I seek to answer this year.
And answering these questions mean I must give up my pursuit of a career (outside of the home) for a season and really listen to the Lord.
I am not taking one more step forward in that direction until I hear from Him.
So what if  that means putting a few of my sites on the shelf for a season.  It will be so worth it for the peace of mind I will have in the upcoming months when I finally realize which direction to go in.
For now, I just need to be still, settle in, and hear from Him.

Ramblings on transparency

Tonight I'm thinking about transparency.  Being real.
Most of us are pretty good at painting the lovely picture that we want the world to see, yet hiding the flaws and imperfections that we're not so proud of.  That's part of human nature- wanting to remain inconspicuous, well-hidden, uniform, and wrinkle-free.  But it's not real-- and we know that.

I've at times struggled with the idea of "putting it all out there", such as on a blog, on display for the entire world to read about, muse about, and mull over.  But despite the not-so-comfortable position we bloggers place ourselves in, we have to admit that there is a raw and authentic beauty in being so passionately transparent. You can't really, truly connect - human to human- without a sense of "real-ness".  It turns people off when you preach at or preach down to, but never stop to show the applicability of what you're saying. 

All that said...I have come a long with in my blogging journey, with the notion of transparency.  I've not always been willing to share my deeper thoughts- in fear somehow that they would reveal more of me than what I'm ready for, I suppose.   I'm much more comfortable staying on the lighter side of things- as we all are. I can also whip out an info-article as quickly as I toast a slice of bread.  It's become habitual- those articles.  But what I've learned is that I would never have been so inspired and enlightened, or felt so connected to the bloggers I regularly read if they had not taken the time to start with first things first- transparency.  It's what, in my book, makes a blog delicious as opposed to stale.  You just have to keep coming back for more.  You end up all wound up in the lives of people you've never met in person, but totally adore online and you just can't wait for them to post again so you can keep up with their lives.  Many times you get to meet those people in person- even cooler.

That said, I have to leave a shout-out to my online buddy, Erin, from the Well Trained Homeschool for inviting us readers into her home and homeschool.  I have been following her blog for years and she'll possibly never know the extent to how she has inspired our family.  I love her YouTube videos and everything she does in her home to make it healthy for her kids and family.  Awesome woman! 
And although I only just found her blog a few weeks ago, I love that Margaret of Green Beans and Little Things is so openly honest about her struggles and delights of life. I relate to her in being a stay at home mom with a passion for artistic endeavor and business- a true conflict of interest at times.  I also relate to her because she too has recently moved and is settling into her new town and having to start her life all over again.  And there are so many more bloggers I want to mention but I'd have to write all night, and I'm going to bed in 5 minutes flat.
The point is, if it weren't for the openness and honesty of others, I wouldn't feel inspired or as connected...
So I am going to make an honest effort to continue along that path of honesty and transparency in my blog posts from here on out. Whether it's my faith, home education, natural health...what have you. 

Five minutes are up.  Going to bed.

Never alone

Since my last post a few people have mentioned that it must be hard transitioning from one part of U.S. to the other, and others have wondered how the kids have dealt with this big of a move.

My answer to that is: we stay busy, busy, and busier.
To be honest, as much as I would like to really sit down and reminisce, I realize that I cannot afford to, either practically/logistically or emotionally.  It's just not healthy.  And that's how I've kept the kids from sinking backward into "I wish..." mode.  We simply move forward, taking one day at a time, learning to embrace everything life has to offer us today...yet never forgetting yesterday.

So our days are filled with school and play.

Ny is working on a Saxon 5/4  worksheet.  I added a plastic sheet protector which I cut in half and taped to it so I wouldn't have to keep making copies and wasting paper.  She whizzes through most of these now and we're getting much better with our multiplications.  We are currently working on improving our 8's and 12's.

Z's been interested in these counting bears for quite a while now (I brought them out last summer).  Besides sorting and counting them, she just likes playing with them now.  I am trying to think of some new gadgets to either buy very cheaply or make for her now that these bears are beginning to lose their luster. 

Stringing beads are still a hit with Z.

Anytime any one of us begins to feel like we miss someone back home, I suggest that we either call or write a letter.  Ny has found some solace in talking to her friends and writing letters-- not to mention it's just good practice (letter-writing).  I am trying to show my girls that although we are in a different place, we are not alone and we are not lonely.  We still have people who care for us dearly and love us, and everyone is only a phone call, letter, email, or Skype call away.  (Oh, and Facebook chat).  Plus, we have those big trips and planned visits on the horizon to look forward to.  I never stress the idea of being far away, but the truth that really, it's a small world- and we're still in every way connected those whom we love.

We write letters to family and friends back home.

Because hubby and I are keeping this tone in our home, it frees us up to enjoy our lives here, which is something the Lord has been helping me to see.

what to do next?

Rock climbing at one of our local parks.  She didn't get too far but it was a fun try!

The Lord's been showing me a lot about freedom and trust.  The trusting part is obvious.  He opens a door to an opportunity to move across the U.S. and we could have easily turned it down out of fear.  Fear of the unknown, mostly.  Trusting Him was obviously a tremendously HUGE part of our lesson in this move, and this lesson is not over, but still very much in progress.
But He is also showing us some things about freedom.

Freedom is being able to enjoy the small things in life.  The smallest pleasures can be our treasures when we are not cluttered with fear.  I am finding that just a walk to the park with my girls has become an enormously deep pleasure imprinted in the depths of my heart- moments I will never forget and that I will always treasure for life.
You might say, "but it's just the park"...but to me, it's so much more.  In this new phase of my life I think I am becoming awakened to the art of appreciation in a new and profound way.

sitting on a whale in front of a local museum

These next few pictures may not mean much to you, but to me they mean a lot.  It's because the lessons my husband and I are learning about embracing life to the fullest are trickling down to our children, sometimes consciously and maybe at times just inadvertently.  So, I allowed Ny to use my camera today to snap some photos around the city, just at random.  What I found was that she was surprisingly eager to learn more, embrace more, take on more with that small camera in the clutch of her palm.  And even though these are random pics of store signs, they meant a lot to Ny...because this is now HER city and HER life.  It doesn't matter how long this time will last-- what matters is that we enjoy it, and take it one day at a time.

It's probably obvious that these are pics that mean something to her. Her idea wheels were spinning as she's mapping out some potential opportunites in her own life.  I love to see my kids feel inspired, empowered, and motivated!

Again, another art studio.  Do you see a pattern here?

I think Ny took some pretty good shots.

You know, as I mentioned earlier, we always want to stress to our kids that they (and we) are never alone- no matter what.  And we mean that in every way possible and with all sincerity.  And I think that God must think that too...
He must surely have created us to feel that way because, after all, so does He.  The fact that no matter how far away we feel we are from Him, that He is never far away.  He is always nearby, in our very hearts and lives, in fact.  He promised that He would never leave nor forsake us.  How much closer can He possibly be?  He is with us all the time, wherever we go.  Every step we take, God is there.  If we ask for His direction, not only will He be there, but He will direct us so that we take the right steps as well.  I don't know how much clearer He can possibly be to us that we are never alone.  Ever.
So as His kids- all of us- we are never to fear.

 Eventually the sky darkens- seasons change- people come and go- things happen that don't always make sense.

 

But it's in those moments that I am reminded of something very, very important.

 

Jesus alone-- He is our rock.  

Everything else will change, but He never will.  

As long as we find refuge in Him, we can never, ever be alone.

Life near the beach

In my last post I talked about being stretched--spiritually, that is.  Well, truthfully, in every way.  I have never been this far away from family and friends- ever.  So, that's a big transition.
Although I miss home, I want to embrace my new home- whether temporary or not so temporary- however that turns out.  So...I've been taking lots of photos of the girls as we visit the hot spots around town.

As we were driving through downtown Pacific Grove into Monterey I thought this view was an eye catcher:

More of the bustling city with a small town feel.

Mountainous backdrop

I've never lived this close to mountains before-- except when I was a little girl (around 7 or 8 living in Montana).  The memory is refreshing...and although we're not exactly in the mountains but on the coastline, it's still really nice to see them in the distance.  They feel so close.

Here are a few historic buildings with great architecture.

Pacific Grove at night.  

I'm not really sure what's up with the  lit trees. Down south that's a Christmas thing...but it is very pretty, nonetheless. 

The girls have been really enjoying the view.

2 streets behind our home is the Pacific coastline and beaches.  It's still a bit chilly, hence the long sleeves--but it definitely adds a new dimension to homeschool.  Once in a while the sun peaks through and warms things up for a minute.

This is a hot spot on Cannery Row- a restaurant called Fisherman's Wharf, if I'm not mistaken.

Fishing is a huge activity here and freshly caught fish and organic produce is one of the city's highlights.  One of these days I'd love to take my husband out to this restaurant if he doesn't beat me to it first!

After the beach the girls wanted to stroll down Cannery Row.  Ny wanted to visit Candyland and the Chocolate Factory.

Cannery Row

Chocolate Factory on Cannery Row

Right before turning off to my street entrance we stop to take pictures

Monterey Bay from Pacific Grove view

I could sit here for hours- maybe be inspired to write a book!

Geese, ducks, and sea gulls are always nearby...

 There is always that empty feeling of being so far away from loved ones (namely my family back home and my precious friends)...and yet there is something so vastly unique and inviting that beckons me to embrace the new place and season in which the Lord has given us this opportunity to enjoy.

I can't deny that this place is beautiful and my thoughts and ideals are changing daily.
What is life really?

Just a week ago, my father in law passed away.  He was a cornerstone in my husband's family, a true patriarch and we all miss him dearly.  His sudden death coupled with our pulling away from our roots and moving cross country only 3 weeks ago took a toll on me-- not a bad toll, but a life-changing, soul-searching tool for awakening me to the reality of what life is about.
When I realize how hard we work for the things on this earth, and then how quickly those things dissipate when they are no more- either through earthly cataclysmic events (tsunamis, earthquakes, tornadoes, floods), or through sudden death, or through a life altering event like a huge move where you have to reassess who you are in light of your new surroundings all over again-- it makes me really, really think about the true meaning of life. 
Life is beautiful.  Life is precious.  There is no time to throw away those precious moments- even in the midst of our toil and labor.  There has to be meaning, there has to be a rhyme and reason to our very souls being alive on this planet.  It is so much more than hard work, new houses, material possessions. 

My newest journey is one that the Lord is leading me in to. It's a season of searching Him in a way that perhaps I used to but for whatever reason (life, busy-ness, etc.), I haven't been as active with it. When I say "seeking Him", I mean studying scripture, seeking His will for direction, being open to His leading, not restricting Him with my ideas of what I want or think I should have, but letting HIm be in complete charge of my life.  He will be my director and I will simply let Him lead.
But that means letting go of some things- some things I've built, some projects/ministries/businesses I assumed

I would continue when I arrived to California.
Amazing how when things are shaken all around us, the first thing that begins to shake is our mentality.

I truly believe that this is the season for God's people to do some true soul-searching.
What are your desires?  Why do you desire these things?  What will you gain from them?  Will God take care of you?
"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you".

My first lessons at life on the beach!  I'm sure there will be more to come.

S-T-R-E-T-C-H

These past few weeks have been stretching...s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g me...to say the least.

Three weeks have turned into nearly a month and yet I feel as though I've been in Monterey for a very long time.  But it's not quite "home" just yet, and I still have so much sorting out to do- both mentally and, yeah, physically (unpacking, shifting around boxes, making space, etc.)  And although moving in was a lot easier than moving out of our home in Alabama, it's still a pretty tremendous transition to be suddenly transplanted from the South to the West Coast.

My stretching this week has a lot to do with finding my way around the city and navigating.  This place is not difficult to get around in- there are taxis and citi buses everywhere and once you learn the map and know which streets are one ways, you can get around.  The cool thing about Monterey is the amount of people riding bikes or walking and jogging along the recreational trail.  It's definitely a place to stay green and active and I'm hoping to add a daily walk in the city as part of my own regimen, but for now...I'm just happy to find my way around to the local grocery store, pharmacy, library, parks, stuff like that.

The other big stretch for me is making new friends.  So far I have met a lot of nice people, but I haven't really connected with anyone on a friendship level- and yeah I know I have to be patient-- friendships take time.  I guess I am in such a hurry to pick up where I left off in life before Monterey that it's been a bit of an adjustment for me to start completely over from scratch.  Family and friends are far, far away.

But you know what?  I'm not afraid or scared...just feeling really STRETCHED right now.  It's like the Lord is showing me how to truly be transilient, how to really, truly trust Him for His provision in my family's life.

The move here was a blessing and a miracle in itself.  Maybe one day I'll be at liberty to talk about how God worked all of this out for us, but it was definitely a move we needed and saw coming (just not one we thought would take us this far away from family and friends).  But it was an answer to our core prayer, and my husband and I are really extremely thankful.

Just being stretched right now.  New job, new environment, new place, new people--need to find a church, trying to get plugged in wherever we can.

That kind of stuff.

Pray for us?

Oh, and I'm thinking really seriously about switching over to Blogger (blogspot).  This domain name will expire in a few months and I'm not sure it's worth renewing it.  I'll give you a heads up if I should decide to switch.

Okay...well off to story time for my kids here in Pacific Grove.